Get to Know ME with Steve Chemello
Steve Chemello is our Get to Know ME employee spotlight for February. It’s our shortest month and as you can see below, his answers are short and sweet too. Thanks, Steve, for giving us a tiny peek into what makes you, you!
What’s your current title and how long have you been in the incentive industry?
I’m a developer. It will be eight years in April.
What do you like about your job?
Building systems and applications is enjoyable for me.
What’s something you want to share about the people you work with at Motivation Excellence?
I enjoy working with them.
What motivates you to accomplish things in your life (work or personal)?
Work == Money. Personal == Family.
What do you enjoy doing outside of work?
I love to go sailing in the summer.
One thing that always makes you laugh is?
George Carlin stand-up is still great today.
Of Course You Need a Personal Brand! Here’s Why (and How).
Have you ever sat down and really examined who you are? Your core values, adjectives you’d like used to describe you, your biggest strengths and why people should want to connect with you? If you’re looking to establish a personal brand, this is a must. You, as a brand, encompasses:
- who you are
- what you stand for
- why people should care
How do you want people to feel when they see you or hear your name? For this blog, we’re examining how to establish your personal brand and why it’s important for nearly everyone these days. It becomes something you carry with you in-person and, increasingly, in our digital worlds.
Reputation + Brand = Past, Present & Future
Jeff Bezos, Amazon founder and billionaire, is credited with saying, “Your brand is what people say about you when you’re not in the room.” I’d say the vast majority of us would like those words to be kind and positive. There is work involved to get to that point, and it goes beyond your reputation. Harvard Business Review posted an article that says your reputation is tied to your past actions, while your brand is about visibility and the values you represent. In other words, don’t rest on your laurels. Be intentional with who you are going forward.
Allie Barke, of Allie Barke Social Media Marketing, has made a business out of her own branding, and also helps other companies capture that deliberate marketing space. She’s our social media partner, in fact!
“I started a fashion blog back in high school (15 years ago!). I started with just a website, then as social media became more popular, I joined Instagram and grew my presence there. My experience in branding/promoting myself led to various internships and jobs in digital marketing. What started as a fun creative outlet led to my work helping businesses, large and small, with their digital presence,” says Barke.
In today’s highly digital age, Barke insists everyone needs to be aware of their personal brand, even if they don’t think they have one.
“Your digital identity is part of (and I would say a significant part of) your reputation. Good or bad, that’s the reality nowadays. If you have no digital footprint, that’s saying something in itself. If you’re applying for a job, the recruiter is Googling you. If you’re going on a first date, that person is probably Googling you. If you’re a business, your customers are searching for you online too.
The data is compelling: 9 out of 10 people will look up a new business online before visiting; 1 in 4 consumers are very unlikely to visit a business that doesn’t have an online presence.”
Follow in These Footsteps
Universally, the first step to creating a brand is answering some simple questions, like:
- What motivates you?
- What’s your inspiration?
- What are your goals?
- What makes you unique?
- Why are you valuable in a certain space (work, community, etc.)
It can definitely seem a bit overwhelming as you begin. Keep your answers short and simple, then build more depth later as you discover nuances you hadn’t realized existed. Barke gives these tips as reminders to keep you on task:
- Focus on what makes you unique.
- This could be in your career or personal life, or both. A mixture of the two is often the most interesting!
- Share what you’re passionate about.
- It makes the whole process easier, and you’ll come off as more authentic.
- Don’t worry about pleasing everyone.
- A smaller, more engaged audience is often better than going too broad.
- Don’t be afraid to get vulnerable or use humor.
- Remember that on any platform, people first and foremost, want to be entertained.
It’s a Process to See Progress
Developing a personal brand does not happen overnight. Take it in chunks:
- get through your simple questions
- define your target audience
- know your goals
- select the medium best fitted to your needs (email, social media, website, etc.)
As for the medium, when it comes to social media options, Barke suggests concentrating on one or two platforms at first. “It’s easier to grow your brand when you focus your attention on learning the ins and outs of two platforms vs. four.”
Two final points: One, personal branding needs to be authentic. Just like a product that doesn’t live up to what it promised, if you fake who you are and it comes out (it always comes out), you’ll be labeled as disingenuous. That can result in losing a job, getting dumped or any number of negative outcomes online. Instead of having to rebuild trust, be truthful from the beginning.
And, two, make your branding a regular habit. Not only does it solidify how people react to you, but consistency also builds momentum. That tide of goodwill can carry you further toward your goals, with a lot less energy on your part. Good luck!
Prioritize Organizing for Best Results
A lot of us start the New Year (or new month, or new week… you get it) with intentions to get and stay organized. We’re here to help with that task, and since it’s apropos, this blog is organized into sections so you can skip right to where you want to go! But first, let’s get to why being organized is helpful. Mindtools.com says being organized has a big impact on your overall success. Motion, a digital planning software company, says organization directly relates to quality of life too.
Here are some reasons to get organized this year:
- Increases productivity
- Boosts focus
- Lessens stress levels
- Ignites creativity
- Improves mental and physical health
Okay, let’s get started! Peruse the sections below to get the most out of what you need from this assemblage of organizational tips. Many of them come directly from our team at Motivation Excellence. Most of us juggle multiple client projects at once, from group travel preparation and planning to reward sourcing and fulfillment.
How to Stay Organized at the Office
Alison Gavitt is on our sales team. As a Strategic Account Director, she has daily tasks that involve multiple clients, as well as prospects. She subscribes to the Touch It Once principle. The gist is that when something crosses your desk or laptop, you deal with it right away. This could mean fully completing the task it indicates, or making a decision on how best to move it to the next stage of completion. This cuts out a lot of wasted time when you start something, move onto something else, then come back to the first thing and have to re-familiarize yourself with the details of the project.
Alison: “It encourages immediate resolution and action and helps to keep my workday on track and my desk clean!”
Trisha Neff is a Tech Project Manager in our travel department. She finds herself juggling multiple travel programs at once and says multi-tasking is not her friend. She concentrates on one portion of one program at a time.
Trisha: “What I like to do is make a start on each project one by one, so then when I come back to them later, I find that completing the tasks are much easier since I’ve already started them. Sometimes I’m even pleasantly surprised at how much I got done initially.”
Keep a To-Do List
Lilly Jobes and Brittany Cerrillos are Travel Program Coordinators, and despite being in their 20s, both like putting pen to paper rather than keeping digital to-do lists.
Lilly: “I like to create one just about every day to keep me focused on the most pressing tasks. I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders when I get to cross a task off.”
Brittany: “Writing things down helps me remember, and it is something on my desk that is visibly ‘open.’ I love using sticky notes too. They help me keep certain tasks at the front of my mind.”
Michelle Lien-Burdick is our Merchandise Buyer. She touches any of our programs that use gifting as part of their reward structure. She is also part of our customer service team, so she has long term projects and immediate action items she needs to do daily.
Michelle: “I mark my Outlook calendar if someone owes me something, or if it’s the date I need to place an order for a program. I also keep all my notes for a program as organized as I can whether it’s digitally in a master spreadsheet or hand-written on a printed-out email request that I then file. This helps me get caught up to speed without a lot of searching to figure out where the conversation left off.”
Home Sweet Home Organization Tips
There’s a lot of overlap between the office and home nowadays. Organization is paramount in this situation as you don’t want your 12-year-old accidentally bringing your presentation notes to school instead of his math homework. Indeed.com gives 20 tips to successfully balance the work-home scenario. They include:
- Sticking to a work schedule
- Carving out a work-only space
- Focusing on one task at a time
- Finding a planner that works for you
For Allison Stewart, our sales support assistant, who works a hybrid schedule, the last item on that bullet list is critical to her.
Allison: “Documenting event details (date, time, location, etc.), especially twice, is helpful for me since I have a photographic memory. This way, whether I am at work or at home, my calendars are updated & synced.”
Having access to a cloud server is important when you’re working from multiple places. At Motivation Excellence, we try NOT to use paper as much as possible, so using digital methods like OneDrive or Google Drive help ensure documents we need can be found on any of our devices in any location (Wi-Fi is important to this too).
The Spruce, a home improvement publication, says having an organized home (that stays that way) is possible with a little forethought. They suggest starting with a list of each room in your house and then what needs to be organized in each space. Must-haves for this include drawer dividers, hooks of every variety and a label maker.
The lifestyle magazine, Real Simple, suggests getting over the procrastination hump of organizing your home or office by creating a card deck. Each card states a room or task that needs to be taken care of. Each day, pick a card and get started! They also suggest setting a timer for each task. You can set it for a specific length of time and dedicate yourself to organizing until the alarm goes off, or you can start a stopwatch when you begin a task. Often, they say, a task takes much less time than anticipated!
Inside Your Mind – How to Declutter Your Thoughts
Okay, now we’re getting personal! What are the best practices for organizing thoughts? The Order Expert says you need to convert your thoughts into physical form to start the organization process. So, yes, grab that pencil and notepad, or open up a new Word doc on your PC. Once you get your thoughts, ideas, worries, goals, etc. down in words, they become much more actionable.
Some other ways to help move your mind from a cluttered swirl of incomplete concepts to a more streamlined place of peace include:
- Cleaning up your physical surroundings
- Delegating tasks (whether at home or work) to a teammate
- Using time management skills
- Identifying long-term goals and the steps needed to reach them
Nowhere is a cluttered mind more evident than in reading an email! Trisha, mentioned in the above “At the Office” section, uses this tip to keep her mind and her emails inline.
Trisha: “For lengthy or important emails, I compose them without the TO and CC fields filled out. Even when I’m replying, I remove the recipients in the address fields until I’ve double-checked that the email is ready to send, and then add in the recipients. You only have to accidentally send ONE email before it was ready to go to know this is helpful!”
Wrapping it Up
We could go onto other areas that need organizing (how does the interior of your car look?), but we’ve covered enough for this blog. Of course, how organization looks is in the eye of the beholder. Our favorite messy genius, Albert Einstein, is credited with saying,
“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, then what are we to think of an empty desk?”
You must decide what works for you. If you find peace working inside what some would call “cluttered chaos” then, by all means, continue. Most of us are somewhere in between “a place for everything, and everything in its place” and giving into a tornado of jumbled disorder. At least now, if you’re looking for a roadmap to the tidy land of organized bliss, you’ve got it!
Travel Destination Fascination in 2024 & Beyond
We recently wrote about our take on the strength of incentive travel in 2024 (spoiler, it’s good!). With a mixture of some client budget caution during an election year, expected rising levels of hospitality service, and stabilizing domestic airfares, our team is confident 2024 will be the first year in several to look and feel more calm, cool and collected.
Things Are Already Bustling in 2024
Our sales team is already busy with site visits (Australia, among others) and programs operating in warm weather areas in the Caribbean. Our travel planning team has barely been able to come up for air as they continue to be tasked with knocking out proposals for a wide variety of destinations around the world.
Hot Travel Destinations of 2024
Looking at 2024 destination selections, we’re seeing our clients choose a blend of “tried and true” domestic favorites like Las Vegas, Napa and San Diego, and some “new to them” but well-known to be incredible experiences like European river cruising or the classic luxury of U.S. resorts like the Montage Palmetto Bluff in South Carolina. Most popular destinations close to home continue to be all-inclusive resorts in Mexico and the Caribbean islands.
The hottest international incentive travel destinations we are seeing based on demand and availability this year are European river cruises because of the number of cities people can explore and the wide variety of rivers offering excursions (Danube, Rhone, Rhine, Douro, etc.). Costa Rica and Japan deserve mentions too.
Get Your Passports Ready for 2025 and Beyond
Pushing out to 2025 and 2026, Joe Reise, our Director of Travel Purchasing, Planning, and Supplier Relations, says clients are looking for our recommendations on destinations they’ve never taken a group to before.
“We think the demand for international travel will continue as we already have programs going to destinations such as Paris and Argentina in 2025. We continue to propose Europe, Asia, and South America for 2026 programs to clients as well. What we are seeing is a desire to travel to new places, but instead of being destination specific, clients are asking us to stay within certain parameters like finding an all-inclusive option, staying in North America or giving different river cruising suggestions,” says Reise.
Future Destinations of Popular Demand
When clients are asking about specific destinations for the future, we’re hearing a lot of interest in places like Costa Rica, Banff, Europe and Asia. Our team is recommending Thailand for its friendly people and diverse culture, Canada for favorable exchange rates and second-tier cities in Europe because they’re more budget-friendly.
“We have a client going to Florence, Italy. This client has never thought it was possible to go to Europe and up until now had only done all-inclusive resorts in the Caribbean, Costa Rica and Mexico. We completely changed the way they structured their itinerary and inclusions and kept within their budget by using a second-tier city like Florence during low season. The change in destinations is a huge appeal to their participants. The reaction has been amazing,” reports Reise.
Going On Your Own
If you’re looking for a destination for just your family to explore in 2024, our well-traveled team is really high on a few options right now.
- The Cyclades, Greece is an island group that includes Mykonos and Santorini. It’s gorgeous! Look for new flights and some hotel deals in 2024 and make this a must-see destination.
- New Zealand or Ireland are solid choices due to the people, the language, the upscale lodging options, the natural beauty and the variety of activities.
Reise is a big fan of picking an experience over a destination to keep to a specific budget. If you know you want to stay in the U.S. and great shopping is a must, you’ll have many cities to keep an eye on for flight and hotel deals. If you know you want to lounge by a pool in a hot climate but you don’t care if it’s in Arizona, Florida or Southern California, get alerts on deals in all three areas and pick the one that comes in at the best price for your time frame.
Traveling is back, enjoy it!
Incentive Travel Will Be Strong in 2024 with Some Caveats to Consider
We’ve had a lot to talk about over the last four years in our incentive travel industry! 2023 was packed with programs that had to be rescheduled from 2020 and 2021. As we close out this year, and rev up for next year, there are a few key areas to keep an eye on in 2024. And they apply to single travelers, as well as incentive groups.
An Election Year
With 2024 being an election year, businesses are prone to be a bit more cautious with their spending budgets. Rhonda Brewer, VP of Sales at Motivation Excellence, says this doesn’t mean there will be drastic changes to the incentive travel landscape, but certain trends might arise for new bookings.
“How this translates to the world of incentive travel may mean selecting destinations closer to home, seeing reductions in budgets, and finding partners who can provide extra value through stretching their dollar further.”
More stringent rule structures could also come into play, as companies start requiring higher performance goals to qualify for incentive group travel. Despite the more cautious approach, Brewer says overall incentive programs are in a good place.
“What I am most excited about is the fact that incentive programs are alive and well and clients still absolutely see the value in them. Now that rebookings are behind us, there is a tremendous amount of opportunity to look at new venues, destinations and inclusions.”
Flights & Service Levels
2024 is looking like a big year for the general public wanting to travel. Brad Hecht, Motivation Excellence Senior VP of Travel and Chief Travel Strategist, and his team are constantly looking at trends in airfare as they book travel for our group incentive participants. In the coming year, he predicts steadier pricing trends, especially for domestic destinations.
“Airfares will continue to stabilize, especially for U.S. travel, as projections will continue to trend to record numbers for travelers.”
Travel & Leisure published an article referencing Kayak’s 2024 outlook on airfares, which showed that domestic flights could steadily drop up to 16% next year. The same report, however, states ticket prices for international travel look like they’ll increase 10% in 2024, over 2023.
Along with domestic travel being more affordable, Hecht is looking forward to higher service levels at hotels in the United States.
“Hotels are continuing to ramp back up from the pandemic with their staffing, so I’m hoping for more consistent service levels.”
Brewer adds that clients are looking for that too. “The expectation in 2024 will be that all staffing levels have been ironed out and properties will be fully operational in their on-site restaurants and spas.”
Visa Updates
We’ve all heard that Americans traveling abroad in 2024 might need to add a visa to their passport. For travelers to Europe, the visa requirement that was originally going to roll out in 2024, has been delayed to 2025 at the earliest.
“The new ETIAS travel entry requirement won’t be in effect until after Europe’s new tech-driven entry and exit system is launched in the fall of 2024. And then even after that, there will likely be a six-month transition period,” says Joe Reise, Director, Travel Purchasing, Planning, and Supplier Relations at Motivation Excellence.
There are countries now though that already require Americans to have a visa to enter. They include Brazil, Australia, China and Vietnam. For a full list of countries requiring a visa, Reise recommends visiting this website: Travel.State.Gov
Wrap Up
Between flight prices, hotel service levels and visa requirements, Americans have a lot to consider as we start dreaming about our next travel destination. If you can take advantage of lower domestic airfare and higher U.S. hotel service levels, and earn it through your company’s incentive program, you’ll hit a trifecta of travel gold!
Motivation Excellence, Inc is an incentive company dedicated to helping our clients Inspire Extraordinary Performance. We do this through personalized rewards, aspirational group travel, performance tracking and wow-worthy meetings and events. Headquartered outside of Chicago, we have another full office in Traverse City, Michigan and remote offices across the country.
Make Reflection a Reflex All Year Long
December is a natural month to look back at your year and take note of the good, the bad and the ugly. Reflecting much more often, though, is associated with many benefits for your personal and professional worlds. Let’s dive into this amazing soft skill that can create waves of positive changes when incorporated regularly into your life.
Create a Better You
Betterup.com writes that the value of self-reflection is its ability to show you what’s working well in your life, as well as what needs to be adjusted. When we reflect, we’re really letting our internal emotions, behaviors, and motives stare straight into a mirror only our mind can see. It can be daunting, especially when we reflect on situations that made us angry, sad or generally uncomfortable. But confronting those times is critical to understanding how to navigate them more smoothly in the future. You get a fresh perspective without the intense feelings, which helps facilitate a better understanding of what happened and why you reacted the way you did.
The Better Up article tagged above is full of self-reflection questions to ask yourself, prompts to ignite inner thoughts, and tips on how best to use reflection as a great tool for better self-awareness. In fact, self-awareness (we wrote about it before) and self-reflection go hand in hand.
Make It Your Business Model
Harvard Business Review published an article describing research that shows the ability to reflect well separates the extraordinary professional from the mediocre. Without reflection, other soft skills like empathy, emotional intelligence, and communication will fail to be as impactful. By the way, these are key indicators of a person’s potential to be a great leader.
HBR regular contributors James R. Baily and Scheherazade Rehman asked 442 executives to reflect on instances that most advanced their professional development. With great candor, they spoke of both the embarrassing and the triumphant. Baily and Rehman found that three sentiments were repeated most often and had the most value for career growth:
- Surprise – the unexpected, good or bad, is always worth reflection
- Failure – public (and private) mistakes offer learning opportunities
- Frustration – delays in meeting a goal can lead to improvements
Overall, being able to recognize when things didn’t go well, AND celebrate when they did, creates opportunities for learning, innovating, and improving. Perhaps your company does performance reviews at certain intervals. This is a type of reflection that can generate discussion, goal setting, and course-correcting, and when done well, it can build a stronger relationship between managers and their teams.
Reflection in Practice
We know why reflection is important, but how do you implement it in a meaningful way? There are some general tips for starting and continuing this beneficial habit.
- Keep a journal and review it at solid intervals. It could be daily, weekly, monthly or quarterly, but it’s important to capture your reflections as they happen so you remember the circumstances clearly.
- Leave space to add retrospective notes to your journal. Hindsight being 20/20 is a side effect of reflection and a great way to grow or improve.
- Practice gratitude daily. Reminding yourself of your blessings helps bring positivity to all you do. Having a positive outlook creates a chain reaction of good feelings which can help most situations you encounter.
- Set goals so you know what you’re working toward and can measure your progress as you reflect on each step. What worked? What didn’t? Any unexpected realizations?
The words “reflect” and “reflex” are homophones. They don’t mean the same thing, but they can work together well. As you start to make self-reflection part of your daily toolkit, remember this sentence: She reflects so often, it’s become a reflex in most situations. That’s the goal! Make reflection an automatic reaction to master this method of self-improvement. Good luck!
Make Gratitude Your Attitude All Year Long
In the United States, November is the BIG month for gratitude, with Thanksgiving starting off the holiday season through the end of the year. But research shows living a life of thankfulness ALL year is truly beneficial to your health.
Robert Emmons is the leading scientific expert on gratitude. Through his research, he and his team found that being grateful:
- Boosts your immune system
- Lowers your blood pressure
- Helps elevate your mood
- Allows you to celebrate the present
- Blocks negative emotions, like envy, resentment and regret
That’s a long list of attributes! Plus, think of the lift it gives to the people whom you show your gratitude. Like most positive traits though, it does take practice for most of us.
Make Gratitude a Habit
The more you do something on a regular basis the more ingrained it becomes in your life. Being grateful can go from a few-times-a-year practice to a habit with a little bit of conscious effort. Emmons recommends keeping a grateful journal. In it, you’d keep a running tally of the reasons in your life you have to be thankful.
There are a bunch of other ways to practice gratefulness in different situations. Below is a list of some ideas. Click on the links to get more details and even more ways to practice.
University of Minnesota Ten Ways to Become a More Thankful Person
Change your perspective – Bummed that you’re hobbling around in a boot after spraining your ankle? Put yourself in the figurative shoes of someone who is non-weight bearing for six weeks and is struggling with crutches, or the unlucky person who broke both legs and is confined to a bed or wheelchair. There’s always someone worse off than you. This can help you feel grateful for only having a minor inconvenience.
Use technology to share – Stuck on your laptop? Tethered to your phone? Set a reminder to send a message of thanks to someone in your life at least three times a week.
Appreciate the good times – If you find yourself enjoying a moment, take note of it and the physical and physiological sensations it brings. Does your face hurt from laughing? Is your chest bursting with pride? Are you overwhelmed with a feeling of love? Relive it as you fall asleep, or the next time you need some inspiration to be grateful.
Headspace How to Be More Grateful
Meditate – Take some time to ask yourself who or what you are most grateful for in your life. This can be done in short stints as you encounter difficult or challenging situations. Take a minute at your desk or in the quiet of your car. You can focus your meditation on your life in general, or specifically what you’re thankful for at that moment.
LifeHack – 40 Simple Ways to Practice Gratitude
Share acts of kindness – Whether it’s holding the door for the person behind you, paying a stranger a compliment or buying lunch for the person behind you in line, acts of kindness build a sense of gratefulness in you and others.
Use social media – Let’s face it, most of us are on it more than we intend, so use it as a space to acknowledge your blessings. Tag someone if they’ve done something to help you. Give a shoutout to a long-lost friend who once had a more prominent part of your life. Start the day with a list of three things you’re recently grateful for.
Working Together Multiplies Gratitude
Volunteering for charitable organizations is a great way to express your gratitude for what you can give to others. And working with a group, whether it’s your coworkers, friends from church or total strangers with a common desire to help, can create an explosion of good feelings! When you see a need and can help fill it, you are living in the moment and appreciating the life you have.
At Motivation Excellence, supporting a variety of charities is central to our core. We organize many on-site and off-site activities centered around helping others throughout the year. We also give each employee two days off each year to dedicate time to favorite worth-while causes. The two links in this paragraph will give you a lot of ways on how to incorporate charitable events and volunteering at your place of business.
Don’t Keep Quiet
We are often reminded of how grateful we are to have someone in our lives AFTER they’re gone. Remember to tell people while they’re alive how much they mean to you. Call your parents and grandparents more often. Tell your friends what they mean to you when you’re together. As you give a hug goodbye let people know that you appreciate them and what they do for you.
The great thing about gratitude is it’s free to share and easily gains momentum. It all starts with a thank you, a kind gesture, a compliment or even just a meaningful smile. The chain of gratefulness can grow, and that wonderful feeling of appreciation can spread to people you’ve never met. So, today, be the one who puts the “great” in grateful by being the example others can copy and share!
Making Perception Corrections: How to Turn that Frown Upside Down
Perception is more than a visual sense. Is the Uno card showing a 6 or a 9? You know that where you’re sitting in relation to the card might change what you see. And while visual perception is important (there’s credence to the saying, “Dress for the job you want”), how your gut instinctively feels about your environment and the people around you says a lot about your mindset. How people feel about you can limit your opportunities or push you to a whole new level. This blog is about changing perceptions when needed—yours and theirs.
Change Your Own Perceptions
You wake up and stub your toe on the bedside table. Do you immediately think, “Oh, it’s going to be THAT kind of day?” Now, you’re just looking for bad things to come your way, and you feel vindicated as they do. “Well, I knew when I woke up this day was going to suck.”
If you stub your toe and think, “Shoot, that hurts, but I’m not going to let it dictate the rest of my day,” you haven’t committed yourself to looking for more negatives. Going a step further, actively looking for the good things will help you find the good things. When you actively challenge your perception of a situation or person, you’re giving yourself the chance to change it too. Medium.com gives some other tips to help you turn the tables on your inner feelings:
- Count your blessings
- Be purposefully aware of how you internally react to your environment
- Learn from the past and move on
When you look in the mirror, do you study your flaws or smile at your attributes? For the next week, make a conscious effort to start each day by naming at least one nice thing about yourself: physical, mental or otherwise. Try thinking, “I have a nice nose,” or “I’m a great listener,” or “I am good at including people.” You might be surprised to find you have more good days than bad AND other people will notice and see you in a more positive light too!
Change People’s Perception of You
If you’re self-aware, you likely have a pretty good idea of what people think of you. Sometimes, it’s a positive assessment, which is obviously great; no change needed. But, what if you sense the opposite—or someone flat out tells you—they think you’re bossy or you don’t contribute ideas to a brainstorming session. These perceptions could cost you a friend or a job. If you believe they’re misperceptions, a change of direction is warranted ASAP.
VantageLeadership.com suggests communicating your intentions is imperative. Perhaps you noticed no one stepped up to take the lead on marketing materials for a new product, so to get everyone started, you delegated tasks out like a blackjack dealer. You meant to start momentum, not boss people around. For our second example above, maybe your ideas are continually shot down so you became afraid to speak up. You intended to be an active listener instead, but it wasn’t seen that way.
Garflinkle Executive Coaching offers other ideas to get people to see you differently:
- Be aware of how your behavior affects others
- Ask for feedback
- Be your own cheerleader
- Be open to changing tactics
It’s been said that perception is reality. If you think of yourself as confident, successful and relevant, others are more likely to see you that way too. If people see you as stuck-up or a constant downer, you’ll have a hard time making friends. If you know how people perceive you and don’t like it, you can take steps to change your behavior. It’s not an overnight journey, but each time you challenge someone’s perception of you with a positive change, it helps them build a new image.
Find Your Balance
On the flip side of this discussion, we could ask, “Should I really care what someone thinks about me?” No one should base their daily existence on being seen in the best light by everyone at all times. There are going to be people you can’t sway to like you no matter what. The trick is to find a natural balance between making positive changes that help you achieve your goals and knowing who you are at your core and being okay with not everybody liking you.
With all that said, developing a positive outlook (but not toxically positive—it’s a thing!) is a great goal for all of us. It certainly helps boost our mood and smooth over some of life’s inevitable bumps and holes. If you can believe it, you can perceive it (or maybe the other way around?).
Good luck!
An Easy Read on Having Difficult Conversations
We’ve all been on the receiving end of heart-plummeting conversation starters like:
“We need to talk…”
“Please come into my office for a few minutes…”
“There’s something I need to tell you…”
“Close the door behind you…”
Did your tummy get a little queasy reading any of those? While the recipient legitimately can feel instant apprehension upon hearing someone say those words, the speaker has probably been reeling from internal turmoil leading up to the conversation for quite some time. If you’re in need of having a difficult conversation, what are the best tactics to employ so everyone walks away feeling, at the very least, less sick to their stomachs?
Just Do It
First of all, if you’re uncomfortable about something, Entreprenuer.com says to recognize it as a signal that a good, albeit hard, conversation needs to happen. The author says these talks are about learning, not winning.
Harvard Business Review published tips on tackling challenging situations, especially for conflict-averse individuals. They include:
- Don’t push it off
- Don’t worry about being liked
- Be direct and respectful
Using active listening skills and conflict resolution strategies can be critical to the outcome too. Goals for a positive result, according to Psyche.co, is to find:
- a solution,
- a plan, or
- an understanding
Even though you’re wading into murky waters, keeping a proactive outlook will help steer the conversation to a safer harbor.
Think of the Positives
Mindset has a key role in how a critical talk plays out. The University of Delaware suggests looking at the positives from the moment you decide to engage someone in a potentially uncomfortable confab. One way to do that is to forecast the outcomes you hope to see, such as:
- Resolving a problem
- Embracing constructive change
- Gaining a better understanding of a person/situation
- Repairing valued relationships
If a relationship, job or project is worth having, it’s worth the few moments of uncomfortable uncertainty that come at the onset of a dreaded discussion. If you focus on the hopeful result, you’ll set yourself up with “good vibes momentum” that your conversation partner will feel. In addition, it could acknowledge the “elephant in the room” you were both feeling, giving you credit for getting it out in the open.
That Sense of Relief
Some people put off going to the doctor or dentist only to realize after it’s over, that it “wasn’t that bad.” (How often do we say that to our kids about a shot?) It’s natural to build up worst-case scenarios in your mind when it comes to things we just don’t enjoy doing. And for many people, putting your own emotions on display while knowing you’re likely to be the reason someone else’s emotions erupt can be daunting at best.
Reality is often much easier and more resilient than you anticipate. Have faith that you are putting in effort, coming from the right place and looking for a better future when you embark on your next difficult but critical conversation. Hopefully, this blog has given you the motivation and tools to calm your gut and lead with your heart. Good luck!
Propel Yourself Past Procrastination
It feels odd that a word with “pro” at the very beginning is actually not a positive. Procrastination is definitely not a word associated with any kind of desired behavior. And if you’re not a PROcrastinator, does that mean you’re an ANTIcrastinator? Something to think about as you read this blog and avoid the next item on your to-do list. 😉
Procrastination is a habit that can be broken with the right mindset and psychological tools. CollegeData.com says the first step is to admit you’re doing it in the first place. Why you’re doing it is a great follow-up. Is the task too large? Too boring? Too easy to put off because you don’t have a critical deadline? Sometimes fear of failing can also trigger a delayed response.
Procrastination Is an Active Choice
Mindtools.com shares that procrastination can often make us feel guilty or ashamed. Sometimes those feelings snowball and we’re stuck in a cycle of growing desperation and plummeting self-worth. Yuck! It’s definitely best to tackle tasks in a timely manner. Their article suggests several ways to stop and overcome procrastinating on a project-by-project basis.
- Break larger endeavors into smaller chunks
- Develop and stick to a schedule
- Change your environment if it’s distracting
- Ask a friend to check your progress
- Motivate yourself with a worthwhile reward
Many of these tips are also great for meeting goals. Below is a snippet from our blog on reaching goals (January 2020). This specific analogy has really stuck with me since that writing (mostly because it’s gross, but also because it’s true). Meeting goals and fighting procrastination have many similarities.
Send Your Stock Soaring
Time Management is also a critical tool to overcoming procrastination. Creating a to-do list, avoiding multi-tasking and establishing a routine are all good practices to embrace when you find yourself pushing a task off multiple times.
The results of getting your work done on time are multi-faceted! You’ll be seen as someone who is:
- Trustworthy
- Responsible
- Goal-oriented
- Productive
Those attributes will help your self-esteem rise!
We all deal with periods of procrastination in our lives. The goal should be to minimize it as much as possible. I’m trying to lead by example. Often, my blog writing gets pushed off until the last week or two of a month. I thought it was most appropriate, with this topic especially, to get it done in the first week of this month! My reward will hopefully be more engagement with it throughout August. If you liked it, please share it on your social channels. Don’t delay – it could help one of your friends go from procrastinator to anticrastinator! 😊
