An Easy Read on Having Difficult Conversations
We’ve all been on the receiving end of heart-plummeting conversation starters like:
“We need to talk…”
“Please come into my office for a few minutes…”
“There’s something I need to tell you…”
“Close the door behind you…”
Did your tummy get a little queasy reading any of those? While the recipient legitimately can feel instant apprehension upon hearing someone say those words, the speaker has probably been reeling from internal turmoil leading up to the conversation for quite some time. If you’re in need of having a difficult conversation, what are the best tactics to employ so everyone walks away feeling, at the very least, less sick to their stomachs?
Just Do It
First of all, if you’re uncomfortable about something, Entreprenuer.com says to recognize it as a signal that a good, albeit hard, conversation needs to happen. The author says these talks are about learning, not winning.
Harvard Business Review published tips on tackling challenging situations, especially for conflict-averse individuals. They include:
- Don’t push it off
- Don’t worry about being liked
- Be direct and respectful
Using active listening skills and conflict resolution strategies can be critical to the outcome too. Goals for a positive result, according to Psyche.co, is to find:
- a solution,
- a plan, or
- an understanding
Even though you’re wading into murky waters, keeping a proactive outlook will help steer the conversation to a safer harbor.
Think of the Positives
Mindset has a key role in how a critical talk plays out. The University of Delaware suggests looking at the positives from the moment you decide to engage someone in a potentially uncomfortable confab. One way to do that is to forecast the outcomes you hope to see, such as:
- Resolving a problem
- Embracing constructive change
- Gaining a better understanding of a person/situation
- Repairing valued relationships
If a relationship, job or project is worth having, it’s worth the few moments of uncomfortable uncertainty that come at the onset of a dreaded discussion. If you focus on the hopeful result, you’ll set yourself up with “good vibes momentum” that your conversation partner will feel. In addition, it could acknowledge the “elephant in the room” you were both feeling, giving you credit for getting it out in the open.
That Sense of Relief
Some people put off going to the doctor or dentist only to realize after it’s over, that it “wasn’t that bad.” (How often do we say that to our kids about a shot?) It’s natural to build up worst-case scenarios in your mind when it comes to things we just don’t enjoy doing. And for many people, putting your own emotions on display while knowing you’re likely to be the reason someone else’s emotions erupt can be daunting at best.
Reality is often much easier and more resilient than you anticipate. Have faith that you are putting in effort, coming from the right place and looking for a better future when you embark on your next difficult but critical conversation. Hopefully, this blog has given you the motivation and tools to calm your gut and lead with your heart. Good luck!
Get to Know ME with Carrie Fox
Carrie Fox is a repeat employee, and we’re sure happy to have her back as a coordinator in our travel department! She’s our focus for this month’s Get to Know ME segment. She’s crafty and grateful and full of good vibes! Thanks, Carrie, for sharing your thoughts on our monthly questions. 😊
What’s your current title and how long have you been in the incentive industry?
I’m a Travel Program Coordinator. I started at Motivation Excellence in 2001 and worked until 2011, then took a break to become a full-time mom. I returned in November 2021 and am so happy to be back!
What do you like about being a Travel Program Coordinator?
Every day is a little different. I love the conversations I get to have with participants and hearing about how excited they are about their upcoming travel experiences! Most are super appreciative of the time I spend on the phone assisting them in any way I can. I also love that every program teaches me about different areas around the world; it’s always fun learning about new places I’ve never been to.
What’s something you want to share about the people you work with at Motivation Excellence?
Since I was here for ten years before this recent stint, it’s great to reconnect with the long-timers. It’s like we picked up right where we left off! I’m also getting to know some of the people who started while I was gone, and everyone is so welcoming and nice.
I was with Motivation Excellence through some pretty big events in my life; celebrating with my team when I turned 21, getting married and having a baby (all back in the 2001-2011 time). It’s like one big family and I’m so grateful to be around such a great group of co-workers and friends! So many inspiring people who make me want to be a better person and try harder to accomplish the most out of life.
What’s an unknown or odd talent you have?
I make the BEST chocolate-covered treats—like chocolate-covered Oreos, pretzels, and Rice Krispies to name a few. I love making them for birthdays, graduations, weddings and everything in between!
What motivates you to accomplish things in your life (work or personal)?
Once I set my goals, the sky is the limit, and nothing gets in my way of accomplishing them. Surrounding yourself with like-minded people who also want to achieve the most out of life is really important.
What do you enjoy doing outside of work?
I love making crafts: anything from wood signs to sewing projects, and of course making chocolate-dipped treats (see photos above). Also, I’m a Team mom for my son’s travel baseball team.
One thing that always makes you laugh is?
Laughing is infectious, if you start laughing, I will start laughing.
What’s a bucket list item you can’t wait to cross off?
Going on a cruise.
This month, our theme for social media is dealing with difficult conversations. When you know you have to have one, how do you prepare?
I take a deep breath and choose to stay calm. I try to be open to hearing what the other person has to say, and I make sure I’m being very clear.
Get to Know ME with Patty Armstrong
Welcome to this month’s edition of Get to Know ME! We’re spotlighting Patty Armstrong, out of our Traverse City office. Patty is succinct, organized and always ready to be a team player. The cherry on top? She’s an easy smiler! Watch her short video (told you she’s succinct) and we bet you’ll smile along with her! Thanks, Patty for sharing a bit about your life with us this month (and the nautical trivia).
What’s your current title and how long have you been in the incentive industry?
I’m a Travel Program Manager. I’ve been in the incentive industry for 25 years.
What do you like about being a Travel Program Manager?
I really enjoy meeting and working with people from different countries.
What’s something you want to share about the people you work with at Motivation Excellence?
Everyone is like family!
What’s a specific moment in your history that always stands out as a defining moment?
Moving to Northern Michigan from the city.
What’s an unknown or odd talent you have?
Hard to say. I like to think I am diplomatic.
What motivates you to accomplish things in your life (work or personal)?
Keeping both well organized.
What do you enjoy doing outside of work?
I enjoy boating, gardening and reading.
One thing that always makes you laugh is?
My dogs make me laugh!
This month, our theme for social media is Procrastination. What are your tricks to use when you need to make sure a task gets done on time?
Lists! I adore them and use them frequently.
Propel Yourself Past Procrastination
It feels odd that a word with “pro” at the very beginning is actually not a positive. Procrastination is definitely not a word associated with any kind of desired behavior. And if you’re not a PROcrastinator, does that mean you’re an ANTIcrastinator? Something to think about as you read this blog and avoid the next item on your to-do list. 😉
Procrastination is a habit that can be broken with the right mindset and psychological tools. CollegeData.com says the first step is to admit you’re doing it in the first place. Why you’re doing it is a great follow-up. Is the task too large? Too boring? Too easy to put off because you don’t have a critical deadline? Sometimes fear of failing can also trigger a delayed response.
Procrastination Is an Active Choice
Mindtools.com shares that procrastination can often make us feel guilty or ashamed. Sometimes those feelings snowball and we’re stuck in a cycle of growing desperation and plummeting self-worth. Yuck! It’s definitely best to tackle tasks in a timely manner. Their article suggests several ways to stop and overcome procrastinating on a project-by-project basis.
- Break larger endeavors into smaller chunks
- Develop and stick to a schedule
- Change your environment if it’s distracting
- Ask a friend to check your progress
- Motivate yourself with a worthwhile reward
Many of these tips are also great for meeting goals. Below is a snippet from our blog on reaching goals (January 2020). This specific analogy has really stuck with me since that writing (mostly because it’s gross, but also because it’s true). Meeting goals and fighting procrastination have many similarities.
Send Your Stock Soaring
Time Management is also a critical tool to overcoming procrastination. Creating a to-do list, avoiding multi-tasking and establishing a routine are all good practices to embrace when you find yourself pushing a task off multiple times.
The results of getting your work done on time are multi-faceted! You’ll be seen as someone who is:
- Trustworthy
- Responsible
- Goal-oriented
- Productive
Those attributes will help your self-esteem rise!
We all deal with periods of procrastination in our lives. The goal should be to minimize it as much as possible. I’m trying to lead by example. Often, my blog writing gets pushed off until the last week or two of a month. I thought it was most appropriate, with this topic especially, to get it done in the first week of this month! My reward will hopefully be more engagement with it throughout August. If you liked it, please share it on your social channels. Don’t delay – it could help one of your friends go from procrastinator to anticrastinator! 😊
Get to Know ME with Trisha Neff
This Get to Know ME segment features Trisha Neff from our Traverse City office. Once you read this blog you’ll know who to go to for 1. A scary movie, 2. A great book, and 3. A laugh! Thanks, Trisha, for sitting down for a recorded interview too! Between speaking Mandarin and performing in multiple choirs, it’s been really fun getting to know you!
What’s your current title and how long have you been in the incentive industry?
My title is Tech Project Manager, and I’ve worked here for 25 years, starting in 1998 at VIKTOR when it was “Viktor Weyand Travel Service.” And now roughly 18 months as a Motivation Excellence employee when VIKTOR was purchased.
What do you like about being a Tech Project Manager?
I like the variety of things I get to work on, along with learning about our clients’ programs and the exciting destinations they’ve selected. Probably my favorite thing is when our programmers develop a new tech product (or enhance an existing one) that improves our internal efficiency and enhances the traveler experience in some way.
What’s something you want to share about the people you work with at Motivation Excellence?
I am lucky to work with this group of kind (and hilarious) people. They’re always ready to help out, hand out chocolate as needed, and pull together as a team during crunch times.
What’s a specific moment in your history that always stands out as a defining moment?
In 1987-88 I spent a year in Taipei, Taiwan between undergrad and graduate school. It was the first time I had traveled alone and had to rely on myself for everything, including communicating solely in Chinese! I learned I could handle anything, and it turned out to be one of the best years of my life.
What’s an unknown or odd talent you have?
Well, I guess it’s speaking Mandarin, and the general ability to learn languages pretty easily. And is this a talent? (I’ll go with YES): I am a Halloween super fan and LOVE scary (not gory) movies. Ask me for movie recommendations anytime!
What motivates you to accomplish things in your life (work or personal)?
I like the feelings of accomplishment that come with doing a good and thorough job, no matter what I’m working on. While I may not be “the best” at something, I will work hard to understand it and master it to the best of my ability.
What do you enjoy doing outside of work?
During the short summer months in Northern MI: going to the beach, enjoying outdoor concerts, and reading a million novels on my screened-in porch – please ask me for book recommendations! In the fall/winter: singing in multiple choirs, knitting by the fire, binging the hot new streaming series, and game nights with friends. And now that I work part-time, I volunteer at a kitten rescue. (When I come home, my husband asks me to empty my pockets. 😊)
One thing that always makes you laugh is?
My friends! I’ve had the same two best friends since junior high school, and they can easily make me cry-laugh. Well, all my friends can do that, as can my husband.
This month, our theme for social media is Public Speaking. When you have to get in front of people to speak, are there any things you definitely do to prepare?
I have occasionally terrible stage fright, and that includes public speaking. So, for a choral performance or public speaking, for me, preparation is key. To have some kind of comfort level, I must have all the music practically memorized. For public speaking, if I’ve had time to rehearse what I’m going to say, I will be much calmer and do better. Also, I learned from the Brady Bunch to imagine the audience in their underwear…
Public Speaking: Fear Not! Expert Tips on Message & Delivery
Public speaking. Do those two simple words together make your stomach plunge and your throat tighten? It’s one of the most commonly reported “biggest fears.” Psycom states glossophobia affects up to 75% of the population! And even that other 25% still have some trepidation, if they’re at all human. 😊
Nancy Pender is no stranger to being in front of an audience. As a Peabody and Emmy-award-winning TV journalist, she was last an anchor and reporter in Chicago before segueing to a career helping professionals hone their communication skills to be more effective on the job. Pender Communications is an executive and media communications consulting company, specializing in a variety of skill sets including speech preparation, DIY sizzle reels and media interviews. As the founder, her aim is to help business professionals craft and deliver meaningful messaging, with the latter pulling a significant amount of focus.
“When I’m hired to help a client craft a speech or PowerPoint presentation, I also work with them on delivery skills. Words are important, but it’s how we deliver those words that has the most impact on an audience,” Pender says.
She obviously runs into a good number of clients who have a hate-hate relationship with the delivery part. For many of us, it’s due to past experiences that didn’t end well. Any of these situations feel painfully familiar?
- Being thrown into the spotlight with no prep time
- Technical difficulties took center stage
- No one listened, and instead kept right on talking to their friends
- Literally lost your notes and thus lost the audience
- Didn’t practice enough so had to rely on reading instead of engaging with the audience
Luckily there are ways to overcome many of those stumbling blocks. Depending on your environment and message, some or all of the following can be helpful:
- Practice, practice, practice – if you know your message really well, you can overcome losing your notes or having a teleprompter go down.
- Record your practices and look for: places to take a natural pause, whether your gestures are too much or too little, and the appropriate use of facial expressions.
- Bring visual aids or something else to grab attention, especially right off the top. Do you play a handheld instrument? If appropriate, 30 seconds on a trumpet will get all eyes on you!
- Find the supportive faces in the audience and use them like they’re your partner.
- Allow yourself to laugh off the hiccups, or at yourself, if needed.
Pender has her own list of must-dos to help create a meaningful and memorable presentation, whether the audience is a boardroom of 12 or a ballroom of 200.
Even if you do all the “right things” leading up to a public speaking event, recognize you’ll still have nerves. Pender says they can actually make you perform better.
“Contrary to public opinion, presentation jitters can be a good thing. When used effectively, they help us focus better, energize our delivery, and prompt us to practice more, which reduces anxiety. The goal isn’t to eliminate the butterflies but to get them to fly in formation. Harness the energy to your advantage.”
Mayo Clinic has an article that walks people through some psychological exercises as well, including breathing techniques and visualization. Pender says making it about what the audience needs, rather than your own fears, can also help.
“Instead of viewing a speaking engagement with dread, reframe it as an opportunity to improve the lives or careers of others. You have innovative ideas that need to be heard. The most effective speakers are those who are able to focus more on the needs of their audience and less on themselves. Make that sentence your mantra and you’ll be well on your way to a more successful speaking scenario!”
There, now do the words “Public Speaking” sound a little less scary? It’s definitely a great skill to have, whether you’re pitching to a prospective client, raising funds for a charity at a gala, or coaching middle-schoolers basketball. And, chances are, you’re going to have to do it every so often no matter what you do for a living, so embrace the experience and harness those butterflies!
Motivation Excellence Awarded Best & Brightest Companies to Work For® in the Nation 5 Years Running!
The team at Motivation Excellence, a performance improvement incentive company headquartered near Chicago, is thrilled to accept the 2023 Best and Brightest Companies to Work For® in the Nation designation!
“We work diligently as a company to show respect to our employees and foster an environment of collaboration and trust. It’s always a work in progress as we continually strive to be even better,” said David Jobes, CEO and President of Motivation Excellence.
The National Association for Business Resources awards the Best and Brightest Companies to Work For® honors. More than 1,300 companies applied for this latest class of winners, with 195 companies earning the designation based on a number of key measures relative to other nationally recognized winners. Applications are assessed by an independent research group.
“Those companies that made the list of Best and Brightest Companies to Work For® as well as those companies that continue to make the list are truly remarkable. Given today’s need for talent, retention of talent, and the further issues related to the pandemic, these companies have proven they are superior to market conditions. They are elite thinkers, and this honor demonstrates their commitment to excellence,” said Jennifer Kluge, President and CEO of NABR and The Best and Brightest Program.
Motivation Excellence is a multi-year winner of the local Chicago Best and Brightest award as well.
In 2022, the company acquired another incentive travel firm in Michigan. The leadership team is happy to accept local Best and Brightest honors for their Traverse City location this year too.
“Our motivation for being the best employer we can be is based on our mission to Inspire Extraordinary Performance. When our team feels secure, heard, and respected, it absolutely transfers over to how they deal with our clients and their participants,” Jobes adds.
Motivation Excellence uses performance tracking technology, aspirational rewards and white glove service for clients looking to improve sales, relationships and mindshare. Reward options include wow-worthy group travel experiences, access to thousands of merchandise selections and special event tickets, and a highly personalized Concierge Shopper service.
Get to Know ME with Forey Erickson
Forey Erickson is a Travel Program Manager out of our Traverse City, Michigan office, and she definitely embodies the “Pure Michigan” vibe! Read more about her below and watch a short video to learn about her favorite travel destination and why she’s making a move in 2023. Thanks Forey for sharing your awesome work ethic and laid back attitude!
What’s your current title and how long have you been in the incentive industry?
I am a Travel Program Manager. I’ve been in the events world, starting in automotive PR events, for nearly 10 years, with the last 7 focused primarily on the incentive side of the industry.
What do you like about being a Travel Program Manager?
No two days are the same. This job is anything but boring and I love the collaborative nature of planning and operating these programs and putting together the logistical puzzle. I’ve been lucky enough to travel to some of the most incredible places on the globe with fantastic clients and colleagues and my world view is constantly expanding. And nothing beats seeing months of planning and hard work come together in a beautifully executed program for our participants.
What’s something you want to share about the people you work with at Motivation Excellence?
This type of work requires diligence, creativity, and dedication and there is no shortage of those qualities at Motivation Excellence. Everyone shows up for each other and our clients daily, even in the crazy of our busy season, to ensure that we are delivering the best for our clients and participants. I’ve never felt alone in any work endeavor—everyone is willing to jump in and help when a teammate needs an assist.
What’s a specific moment in your history that always stands out as a defining moment?
We took a group to Tuscany in the summer of 2022 and while the program was a raging success, we found ourselves in the midst of a global air crisis at the tail end of COVID-19 related international travel restrictions. On the final full day, half of our groups’ flights were canceled. In the span of just a few hours, three of us who were onsite, our air team back stateside, and our incredible DMC partners got everyone rebooked, everyone tested for COVID-19, and still pulled off a fabulous final event. Being recognized for our hard work by the clients during speeches on that final night was the cherry on top after an adrenaline-filled afternoon. It served as a great reminder of why we love what we do and who we are doing it for.
What’s an unknown or odd talent you have?
I have an uncanny knack for retaining obscure information. I can name Michigan State basketball starting lineups going back decades, tell you the filmography of b-list actors, sing all of the lyrics to “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” and recall all of the US presidents in chronological order. Basically, my secret talent is being an excellent trivia partner.
What motivates you to accomplish things in your life (work or personal)?
I come from a family filled with incredibly hardworking and impressive women, I’m just trying to keep up😊. I also love being part of a team and knowing how hard my colleagues and partners work makes me want to ensure I’m keeping up my end of the bargain.
What do you enjoy doing outside of work?
I’m lucky enough to spend the bulk of my free time between Detroit and Traverse City, MI and love watching Michigan State and Detroit sports (someday my Lions will win a Super Bowl) and spending my summers on the beach or boat with family and friends.
One thing that always makes you laugh is?
My amazing nieces and nephew, Rory, Teagan, and Declan. No shortage of laughter in our family.
This month, our theme for social media is self-esteem. What’s something you do to boost your own self-esteem when you’re feeling a bit low?
Calling up my family or boyfriend—they always pick me up, make me laugh, and remind me exactly who I am and what I’m capable of.
Teeming with Self-esteem; Why the Right Level Is Important for Success
So much goes into self-esteem. There are external influences like how others perceive and treat you. And internal factors like confidence and self-awareness. Some people just seem gifted with healthy self-esteem, while others scream conceit or whisper inferiority. There are definitely steps you can take to balance this often emotionally tied characteristic. Check your ego at the door and absorb how you can develop the best Y-O-U there can be!
Self-esteem 101
Self-esteem can be measured on a spectrum from low to healthy to arrogant. Your opinion on your value can fluctuate given the circumstance, company you keep, and period of life you’re in. Below are general defining thoughts for various degrees of self-esteem.
People with low self-esteem might feel:
- Negative about themselves and life in general
- Anxious
- Unmotivated
- Uncertain about their abilities
People with healthy self-esteem seem to know:
- They have value
- Their positive qualities
- They can take on a challenge
- The future can be rewarding, even if it’s unknown
People with too high a self-esteem may:
- Think they’re better than others
- Have little patience with teammates
- Feel entitled to the best life has to offer
- Bite off more than they can chew
Knock, Knock… Who’s There Matters
One of the biggest factors of self-esteem is security. If you’re in an unsafe or unstable environment over a length of time, it can create self-doubt and feelings of unworthiness. If so and so is always belittling you at work, or you’re constantly being punished for trivial things at home, or you’re the victim of bullying at school, there’s little doubt it’ll affect your perception of yourself. To combat that, make sure you’re doing what you can to change your circumstances.
- Surround yourself with uplifting people
- Gain the skills needed to feel more confident
- Find a trusted person you can use as a sounding board
- Learn the best words to use to speak up for yourself
Get on the Me Team
Knowing who you are, feeling accepted, and having confidence in your skills are three important internal traits that lead to having a positive opinion of yourself. Some tips to enhance those characteristics include:
- Embrace lifelong learning – the more you know, the more you grow!
- Be true to who you are and surround yourself with people who accept you that way
- Keep a journal to remember your successes – even the small ones
Very Well Mind writes that self-esteem grows as you do, meaning from childhood to adulthood you will likely see a steady increase before it levels off. Of course, most of us will ride some waves that dip into the low level again before carrying us back up to a better level. If you constantly feel like your self-esteem is in flux, seeing a professional is a great idea! It may just be a nasty case of imposter syndrome, or it could be more deep-seated.
Use Self-Esteem to Your Advantage
People with well-honed self-regard are more likely to achieve their goals, see the positive side of things, and move ahead at work. Your self-esteem influences your thoughts, choices and decisions. It showcases how you present yourself, and thus, how people see you. Your self-esteem is projected through your posture, how you speak to others, and how you work on a team.
And remember, sometimes it’s people with crumbling self-esteem who try to bring yours down with bad behaviors and remarks. This is a perfect opportunity to level up and take them with you. Others will hold you in high esteem if you can do it!
Get to Know ME with Allison Stewart
It’s one of our favorite times of each month: our Get to Know ME segment! This time we’re highlighting a new member on the sales team, Allison Stewart. Anyone who has worked with her so far knows how positive and effervescent she is. You can see for yourself in her short video too. Thanks, Allison, for sharing special things about YOU!
What’s your current title and how long have you been at Motivation Excellence?
I’m the Sales Support Assistant and I started in February of 2023.
Since you came from outside the industry, what’s something you’ve learned and especially liked about our industry?
I like how detail-oriented the programs are and have noticed how much effort and time is put into each and every aspect of making sure all our programs run seamlessly, whether it’s an online merchandise program or in-person travel program. The effort and expertise behind every detail amazes me.
As a newbie to the team, what’s something you’ve noticed about the people at Motivation Excellence?
Everyone at Motivation Excellence is so nice!! Everyone is willing to help, is supportive and will jump in to assist if you need help or have a question.
What’s a specific moment in your history that always stands out as a defining moment?
I was able to go on a 5-month study abroad program to Newcastle, Australia in 2008. It was one of the best highlights of my life so far. I can’t wait to go back and didn’t think it would take me this long to get there again.
What’s an unknown or odd talent you have?
I grew up taking dance and tumbling lessons. I can still whip out an aerial and back handspring!
What motivates you to accomplish things in your life (work or personal)?
I don’t like having a to-do list. I am very motivated by nature to cross off all my “to-dos” so that I can spend more time doing what I love most.
What do you enjoy doing outside of work?
Traveling, spending time with friends, family and my two cats, exercising, trying new foods or restaurants, cooking or baking, reading or listening to audio books, doing yard work or being outside if possible, and I love hiking.
One thing that always makes you laugh is?
My cats’ behavior – they are silly and have big personalities.
This month, our theme for social media is Time Management. Do you have any tried and true strategies to stay on time with your tasks?
I make myself reminders and put everything in my calendar, sometimes two calendars. If all else fails, I use sticky notes!
